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Santa’s Perfect PItch
Guy Kawasaki of How to Change the World | December 23rd, 2008 - 04:07 PM
(40) found this useful. Do you? 
Jeremy Hanks (@jeremyhanks on Twitter) analyzed Santa as an entrepreneur in his post called “Santa Claus: World’s Greatest Entrepreneur.”. I loved what he did so I crafted a venture-capital pitch for Santa to illustrate the kind of deal that venture capitalists would fund in today’s economic conditions.
- Problem. Parents need a method to influence their non-compliant kids throughout the year. This is a universal problem beginning at approximately age three and continuing up to the teenage years.
- Solution. Outsourced bribery via jolly old man who gives candy and toys to nice kids and lumps of coal to naughty ones.
- Business Model. Revenue sharing with toy companies and candy companies, licensing image to retailers, and royalties from multiple movies, songs, and publications.
- Underlying Magic. Ability to deliver toys to all the kids around the world in one night, make reindeer fly with near zero-carbon footprint, enter homes through chimneys, know what every kid wants, and know whether every kid has been naughty or nice. Zero support issues due to omniscience. Completely lead-free materials. Over fifty patents filed.
- Marketing and Sales. Current SEO methods yield 15,700,000 hits in Google. Partnerships with toy manufacturers, candy companies, and retailers to increase Santa’s brand awareness for mutual benefits. Deep inroads into western literature. Creation of long-lasting brand awareness by working with grandparents. You can track market penetration in real time too.
- Competition. Jesus or none, depending on your world view.
- Team. Proven CEO with hundreds of years of experience. In addition, there are Mrs. Claus, non-unionized elves, and flying reindeer including one with a red nose. All work for free with no stock options. North Pole production facilities are also free.
- Projections. Total addressable market of two billion children. Conservatively, 1% market share means twenty million children.
This is the kind of deal even the most jaded venture capitalist would jump at. Be sure to give me the first shot at the deal if you’re Santa. Merry Christmas!
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Bajal | December 24th, 2008 at 11:01 am
Nice. So a thing or two to learn from Santa here huh?
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Troy Malone | December 24th, 2008 at 11:23 am
Ah, the joys of having non-unionized elves! I love it. I am looking into relocating some of my workforce.
Troy Malone
Pelotonics
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Naseer | December 24th, 2008 at 11:58 am
i thought that brilliant thinking on Santa’s part
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Lance | December 24th, 2008 at 12:02 pm
Hilarious. Nice work. Something we can relate to and learn from.
http://startupfinancialmodeling.blogspot.com/
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George Sackett | December 24th, 2008 at 12:05 pm
Started off laughing but soon I became terribly sad as this is too true. - - -Only 1% market share?!?!?
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Mitch Weisburgh | December 24th, 2008 at 12:35 pm
The idea of rewarding kids for certain behaviors is also gaining traction in education. A great example is a company called Uboost (http://www.uboost.com) that awards points for previously defined behaviors, posts the points (competitive social networking), and then also allows the kids to trade in their points for rewards.
They have trials going on in NYC and Chicago public schools, with good results so far.
They could be a real live competitor to Santa, Inc.
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Shawn | December 24th, 2008 at 12:48 pm
Sounds like a good business to be in. Let me know if they have any openings.
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Lary Stucker | December 24th, 2008 at 1:02 pm
Only if I would have had “Underlying Magic” in my last pitch! All kidding aside, it is fun to see the kind of deal that would get funded.
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Jason | December 24th, 2008 at 2:10 pm
Don’t forget the collaboration with DoD. http://blog.wired.com/cars/2008/12/norad-keeps-the.html
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Lucas Lain | December 25th, 2008 at 11:38 am
Do not forget the renos on the team!! =). Hundreds of flight hours.
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Maria Alegre | January 5th, 2009 at 1:50 am
You have more competition than that! In Spain we celebrate “The 3 magic Kings” tonight and they are the ones bringing the presents
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Lian Pheng Tan | March 3rd, 2009 at 7:41 am
Cash-hungry startups beware. 2009 will likely be a terrible year for raising needed capital.
A new survey by the National Venture Capital Association paints a grim picture of probable investments next year. Ninety-two per cent of respondents predict a slowdown in US investments compared to 2008, and 61 per cent say the dip will be severe.
Venture investment in the US neared $30bn this year, and remains an important vehicle for funding early-stage companies, particularly in the technology, biotech, and clean tech sectors. But respondents say next year will be tough for any company seeking cash. Particularly hard-hit could be the semiconductor industry, media and entertainment companies, and wireless communications startups, according to the survey.
Lian Pheng Tan
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John Mashey | March 16th, 2009 at 1:46 pm
Good pitch, but should add:
long-term risk factor:
Within a few decades, the North Pole ice will likely be ice-free during the Summer, which would hamper toy production. Hence, plans are being made for future relocation to the South Pole.
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Lake Falconer | March 27th, 2009 at 4:34 pm
All businesses should mystery shop, and survey their customers for the good news and the bad. The trick then is to act on it and not to rationalise away the learning points.
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